


don't forget I love you

by yayame



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Firsts, Fluff, I don't know???, M/M, angst???, my first submission (and my only complete fic), twohyunweek!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 20:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16145312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yayame/pseuds/yayame
Summary: ;; hello!!! this is my first (and only complete) work to #twohyunweek!I had hoped to have all my other works ready but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhI'll probably post my wips for the rest of the week and then go back to edit so they'll get the ending they deserve.anyway, happy twohyunweek!





	don't forget I love you

00 

     Their first apartment has creaky floorboards and the painted walls have chips and weird stains that they’ve chosen to actively ignore. The bathroom sink leaks and they can only get about forty seconds of hot water before the shower turns ice cold. The kitchen’s back two burners don’t work and the refrigerator makes a weird noise whenever they turn on the living room. 

     There are so many other issues and problems he can think of that come with the apartment but all he remembers are the late nights spent gathered in the living room with their friends, empty beer cans and chip bags on the floor. All he remembers are the soft Sunday mornings when the sun peeks through the window curtains and Jonghyun buries his face in his chest to try and escape the sun rays. All he remembers are the shared kisses when they’re rushing out the front door to work. All he remembers is love. 

 

01

     Their first trip outside of Korea is an absolute mess; they had both agreed to explore Tokyo, finding a common ground for both of their interests. However, contrary to their ideas of a dreamy vacation in the metropolis where they would share takoyaki and take photos of Shinjuku. They dreamt of going to cat cafes and stocking up on mangas for Jonghyun. What they ended up with was a stressful week of language barriers and confusing maps and awkward excursions in the city. 

     Despite Jonghyun’s initial confidence in the language due to his many years of ‘studying’ anime and manga, none of the shoujo novels had prepared him to partake in  _ actual  _ conversations with real Japanese speaking people. And despite his confidence in his ability to map out their destinations, he failed to account for the fact that everything was on the  _ other side _ . There were just so many things that went wrong; they both got sick the first day from some suspicious sushi Jonghyun had purchased from a convenience store; he had forgotten his wallet at the hotel on their second day out and the list goes on. 

     But still, they hang up the photo of them at Shibuya Crossing proudly above their dining room table. 

 

02

     Their first fight is ugly. There’s screaming and crying and glaring. His mouth twists into a tight line as he stares at his boyfriend, arms crossed over his chest as they both fall silent. Their words linger in the air; they ring in his head obnoxiously, reminding him of all the venom that was spat in each sentence, each word, each letter. He can see the tears in Jonghyun’s eyes and know he’s fighting back his own but neither relents. Neither of them can seem to muster the first syllable in the word “sorry.” 

     But if he looks back now, he can’t even remember what they were fighting about. He couldn’t tell anyone what set off the fight or what was said exactly. He couldn’t articulate why he was so angry or why he felt the need to fight. All he can say is that at the end of the night, they had both found each other again. They had both rolled over in bed, tucked in each other’s arms, whispering apologies between warm kisses and broken sobs. All he can say is that at the end of the night, he had found home. 

 

03

     Their first night away from each other is hard. After almost ten years of being inseparable, it feels like he lost a limb when Jonghyun isn’t lying next to him. He reaches out to the other side of the bed but feels an aching emptiness. 

     He tosses and turns before huffing out an angry breath; he sat up abruptly, glancing at the bedroom door before silently shuffling forward. He slowly turned the knob, careful not to make any noise before being met face to face with Aron. The older male gives him a knowing look before forcing him to march back to bed; it’s a silly, antiquated tradition: not seeing your fiance the night before your wedding but his friends had  _ insisted _ . And as good friends, both of them had relented to their friends’ demands, not realizing that a full 24 hours is a long time. 

     But when he stands at the altar and Jonghyun is walking towards him with bright eyes and an even brighter smile, he realizes he never has to be away from him again. He never has to suffer through that wretched 24 hours again. From this day forward, they’ll spend everyday together, and maybe 24 hours is a small price to pay for an eternity. 

 

04

     Their first son lights up the sky with his smile. He calls out to him when he steps into their home, hugging his leg and rambling about his day. He shows off his finger paintings and how he writes his name with big, block letters,  _ HWANG-KIM JINYOUNG _ . He clings onto him tightly when they watch TV and he trails after him when they go to the bathroom to wash their hands for dinner. Their son is his entire world when he didn’t even know he could love someone this much, let alone as much as Jonghyun. 

     Their second child, a daughter with the pretty name to match her pretty face, Ahreum, has a laugh as clear as bells and eyes as bright as his husband’s. She wears pastel dresses and keeps bows in her straight black hair. She demands to be carried everywhere and he can’t refuse his princess despite Jonghyun’s protests that he’s spoiling her. She keeps all of her toys organized and a stack of books on her dresser for storytime right before bed. And she proves him wrong again; now his world revolves around three people when he thought he couldn’t possibly have more love for another being. 

 

05

     Their first night alone is quiet and empty; Jinyoung had moved into an apartment with too many roommates and too few rooms while Ahreum had moved into the campus dorm with posters of pretty idols and photos of close friends plastered on the wall. They sit in silence on the living room couch, each with a book in their lap and music streaming quietly from the stereo. They didn’t say anything but he could feel Jonghyun’s heat radiating off him as they sat next to each other; he kept one arm securely around his husband’s shoulder, paging through some New York Times bestseller. Occasionally, he would lean over and gently press his lips against the top of the other’s head, before turning back to his novel with vague interest. 

     Eventually, the night wore them out and Jonghyun extended a hand so they could shuffle into their bedroom. They put on their matching pajamas with prints of foxes and turtles, a gag gift courtesy of their children to celebrate twenty-five years of marriage that was meant to embarrass them but only drew fond smiles and warm laughter. They slid under the covers and he leaned over to grab Jonghyun’s wrist, pulling him in close to snuggle. They whispered little secrets of how much they missed their children despite the fact that they left their dirty laundry on the floor or that they would play their music too loudly. They whispered little secrets of how silent and empty the house felt now without all four of them. And they whispered little I love yous in between it all. 

 

06

     Their first grandchild is a precocious little boy named Seonho who climbs over their furniture and inhales everything in their pantry; he brings a smile to their face every day and they proudly hang his crudely colored drawings on the fridge. He especially adores reading bedtime stories when his grandson sleeps over on the weekends, tucked between him and Jonghyun. He adores the way he scrunches his nose in his sleep, long eyelashes resting against chubby cheeks, and his pink lips pursed when he feels both grandparents softly kiss his cheeks. 

     Seonho was found on the doorsteps of an orphanage at the age of three with tear stains on his cheeks and dirt in his hair. He spent the next two years in the orphanage before Jinyoung stumbles upon him. Jinyoung and his husband had been planning on adopting for months and although, they had discussed hopefully adopting a baby but Seonho runs up to them on one of their visits and they all fall in love. 

     He brings a new light into a life they didn’t know was dim. He draws smiles from everyone around him, clinging onto Jonghyun when they’re in the kitchen or latching onto him when they read through the piles of picture books in his room. He’s everything and anything he’s ever wanted in life; he even jokes that he loves Seonho more than his own two children. This only draws laughter from Jinyoung and Ahreum and a exasperated smile from his husband. 

     Everyday he’s surprised by how much love he has left to give to these people; everyday he’s shocked by how much love he receives from these people. 

 

07

     The first time he hears the news, he’s unsure of what to do; he’s never been faced with  _ this _ . The doctor is hopeful, optimistic, but every word after is lost. He walks in a daze, walking out of the room with a white sheet of paper and fists tight as he trudges through the hospital hallways. 

     He’s not sure how he makes it home but he does; he walks through their front door to the smell of blueberry muffins and fresh lemonade. Seonho runs out of the kitchen with flour in his hair and a ring of blueberry stains around his lips. He launches into his arms with a screech of “grandpa” as his husband shuffles out of the kitchen with a warm smile. His eyes sparkle and there’s flour smeared on his cheek but all he can do is just admire him. 

     He takes the moment to study Jonghyun; commit every feature to memory and appreciate the way his eyes brighten at the sight of their grandson. Even though he’s sure his memory has been pushed to the limit, can no longer make any more space for more moments with Jonghyun, he takes the second of silence, the second where nothing matters to just  _ appreciate _ . 

 

08 

     For the first time, he can’t remember their first date; he can’t recall when or where it was. He thinks he remembers picking up Jonghyun from his dorm in an old, used car that cost him five months of double shifts at the cafe on campus. He thinks they kissed at the end of the date and he thinks he remembers standing on the dorm’s doorstep for an extra fifteen minutes with his fingers pressed against his lips, tingling with butterflies. 

     But he can’t remember; he can’t remember what Jonghyun wore even though he’s sure a few years ago he could recount every detail of that night. However, in this moment, he can’t; he can’t remember anything about that night and it breaks his heart. He ends up clutching a wedding photo, sobbing as he drops to his knees. 

     And that’s how Jonghyun finds him; in their room, curled around a photo of them at their wedding. It’s a candid photo they didn’t know was being taken by Aron. They’re both looking into each other’s eyes, smiling widely and leaning in close to one another. It was their favorite photo; they had it framed and placed it on their bedroom dresser. It had been a part of the home just as long as they have and seeing Minhyun curled around it, leaves him dreadful and heartbroken. 

     And for the first time, Jonghyun doesn’t know if he can be alone. 

 

09

     His first night  _ alone _ . 

     He’s not sure what to do; he doesn’t remember how to be alone. He was so used to coming home and having arms wrap naturally around him that this emptiness feels amplified in their bare home. 

     Ahreum had offered make up the guest room for him and Seonho had told him they could watch Disney movies but he gave them a small smile before shaking his head. Instead, he pressed a kiss against his daughter’s cheek and gave his grandson another warm squeeze. He tells them he’s fine, promising to give them a call in the morning before turning away to head home. 

     But as he stands in the living room, he wonders if their home was always so empty and big. When they had Ahreum and Jinyoung, it was the perfect size for two growing kids to run around and when they brought Seonho home, it seemed like the perfect size for Seonho to embark on imaginary adventures of loud pirates and rambunctious cowboys. But now. Now, it seems just a tad too empty, a tad too big for one person. 

     He tries not to dwell on the thought any longer, shuffling into  their his room to change into an old pair of sweats and a ratty old T-shirt. He pulls the covers back, slipping into a bed that now feels too wide. Jonghyun turned his head to stare at the empty space, placing his hand on the cold pillow, biting back tears. 

     He doesn’t know if he can be alone. He doesn’t know if he can be without Minhyun. But he was going to try. He was going to because that’s what Minhyun would’ve wanted. 

 

10

     He finds the first letter tucked between the pages of a cookbook; Seonho is spending the weekend while Jinyoung and Jihoon are visiting some college friends in Jeju-do. His grandson clings onto his leg with hopeful pleads of chocolate chip cookies and pouty lips that he can’t help but give in with a fond sigh. He ruffles the boy’s hair before pulling out the tattered cookbook from the shelves where it had been tucked away. 

     He remembers the wear and tear this book had gone through: from their first couple of years as fresh graduates just learning to cook as they were weaned off campus food to the Friday nights when their kids would beg for baked sweets to now. 

     In between the pages of vanilla cupcakes (his favorite) and fruit tarts (Minhyun’s favorite), falls out a neatly pressed envelope. He carefully opens the letter, choking back a sob when he sees familiar handwriting neatly drawn across clean white paper. 

     “Do you remember when we first tried to make red velvet cake for Jinyoung’s sixth birthday? We forgot to put in baking soda and the whole thing was terribly flat that we just bought a cake from the little bakery down the street. But we told everyone we had baked them ourselves; we said it was a secret we’d never tell anyone. At least, until Jinyoung found the empty shopping bag. 

     I’ve been thinking about that lately. 

     Mainly because I’m afraid I’m going to forget. 

     I’ve been doing that a lot lately, haven’t I? You don’t say so but I can see it in your eyes. I can’t help but wonder what I’ve forgotten; did I forget our anniversary? Or maybe your birthday? 

     I hope not. I think I’ve written all the important dates in my planner but maybe I was wrong. 

     I couldn’t remember where we went on our honeymoon today. I found photos though. But I still can’t remember where it was or what we did there. 

     I think I’m forgetting more and more. 

     But the doctor said if it’s something really important, I should be able to remember if I try. But no matter how I try, I can’t. 

     I just hope I don’t forget that I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> ;; hello!!! this is my first (and only complete) work to #twohyunweek!
> 
> I had hoped to have all my other works ready but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> I'll probably post my wips for the rest of the week and then go back to edit so they'll get the ending they deserve. 
> 
> anyway, happy twohyunweek!


End file.
